Okay, I’ll confess. I’ve picked up a bad habit recently. No, I’m not smoking, doing drugs, or chewing tobacco. However, the last two times I’ve gotten a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Caramel Fudge ice cream (the absolute best Ben & Jerry’s flavor), I’ve eaten some RIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON. Yes, you read that correctly. Then I put it back in the freezer and the next time I wanted some, I ate it RIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON AGAIN! And so on. Please don’t tell my mother. Or my daughter.
Now mind you, I have been traveling on my own for about eight months, but I only recently descended to this life in the gutter behavior. I feel guilty every time I do it, as though any minute Miss Manners is going to storm into my motorhome with sirens wailing, slap the handcuffs on me, and drag me off to faux pas prison.
Is there a twelve step program for out-of-the-carton eaters? I think I need help. If I don’t get help, I could slither down to even lower forms of delinquency, like letting the dog lick my plate. But don’t worry; you’re still welcome to come over. You just might want to bring your own ice cream. And your own plate.
What’s your point?